Choosing Happy Memories on Father’s Day – Part II

Choosing Happy Memories on Father’s Day – Part 2

Soooo, I checked my mirrors while still head-bobbing to the beat of whatever was playing. I could feel the bass vibrations as the reflection of my dad showed his calm yet attentive stance, arms folded, head shaking in a slow ‘no’  motion.

It was that familiar expression he always gave while watching someone being hell-bent and determined to make a valuable accomplishment by way of being stupid due to ignoring mentoring advice from a wiser source.

I was happy…excited even and ready to make my move backwards into the same parking space that had somehow in the span of about an hour become  a major challenge for my seventeen-year-old at-that-very-moment-happy-go-lucky-as-hell self. I knew that I could do it.

Despite the warning signal of the ‘no’ from my dad, I was ready and willing to succeed, so I hit the gas pedal ever so slightly and began to make my way in between the two lines indicating that I had indeed positioned myself correctly.

I pressed down a little more on the gas (music still bumping) and I thought that I heard something like a bump so I naturally assumed that I had hit the darned walkway again.

No problem…Im in straight, so all I need to do is pull up just a little bit, but to be sure that Daddy knows that I know what I’m doing, I’ll just do it over again.

I was not phased by a long-shot. Nothing could stop me now, because I really did know what I was doing…I just had to prove it this time!

Mirrors checked – I know where I am…my brain is now ready to send necessary signals for the purpose of coordination strategies as I have pulled all the way out of the space just to show what I have learned.

I reverse again and proceed back and whip the car (not a brand new one THANK GOD!) back into the parking space perfectly this time…windows still vibrating…I had done it! I even moved a little faster this time because I knew that my positioning was on point! “Whooooo!”

I looked into my side mirror in search of a thumbs up from my dad only to have the exhilarated exclamation upon my success instantly turn into worried curiosity! Where was he?

Maybe he went to take a pee around back, but to be sure,  I looked into the rear view mirror and then the passenger side mirror which is when the horror began. He was on his hands and knees with his head hung down looking so helpless – SHHHHIT!!! I had run my dad DOWN!

I put the car in park and flung the door open to run to him as he fell over onto his side and rolled over on his back with one arm holding his mid-section and the other arm flailing haphazardly with no specific determination.

I bent over him as my inner self exclaimed approximately five OMG’s in a row at lightening speed just before I asked if he was okay. He said nothing – only rolling from one side to the other with some type of wincing expression on his face that I had never seen…he was in pain!

I didn’t know what to do as the days of cell phones had not yet arrived and I thought about driving somewhere to get help, but that would take too long.

My heart was beating so fast that I thought I would collapse right beside him, but I had to keep my composure and get him to say something. “Daddy! Please say something! I’m so sorry I hit you, but please get up!”

The flailing hand began to wave a stopping motion and he finally spoke to me saying, “Please, Please! Stop talking! I’m not hurt but – ” “But Daddy, I hit you, and if I don’t get some kind of help you’re gonna die!!”

I was in tears and so was he, but somehow he was able to reply, “Yea child, I am dying but not because you hit me, I’m laughing myself to death! – Look over there!” He pointed in the direction where the driving center’s garbage dumpsters were.

There were two of them, and they were crushed between the wall of the building and…

my car.

The music was still playing – loudly.

I was confused now. All coordination and fearless indignation aside, I asked my dad once again if he was sure that he was all right.

He begged me yet again to not say anything because if I didn’t stop it, he would surely die right there and he didn’t want me to have to drive home. I could clearly see now that he was overcome by a serious bout of uncontrollable laughter to the point of tears and a stomach ache which was obvious by him having to speak to me between catching a much-needed breath.

“How in the world did you do that?” He had managed to get back on his knees in hopes of getting up when I asked, “Do what?” The laughing started again in the midst of a quick but earnest prayer for the Lord to please send him some help to get off of the ground.

I’m guessing that a light bulb must have popped on at some point and I helped my dad up, but he just had to do an impromptu ‘show and tell’ of my little mishap. “I ain’t never seen nothin’ like that in all of my years, and you did it twice! Just look at what you did to these folks stuff!”

I really looked this time and reality began to set in for me then as Daddy explained how I had backed into the dumpsters, pulled up, and ran into them yet again only harder the second time.

After putting the poor innocent bystanders who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time during my plight back where they belonged, now battered and bruised, we made it back to the car and my father of course insisted that he drive home while still laughing and catching his breath. “Well, I thought I heard a little bump at one time…” I tried to explain, but he would have none of it.

He stressed his wishes of me not saying anything more on the way home so that there would be no more accidents and that it would also be wise if I would refrain from iterating this unfortunate incident to anyone that I intended to take for a ride in the future. “I knew you should’ve turned that mess down, but I had to let you do it your way and now you know better don’t you. Just talk to your momma about it, but other than that, this will be our little secret…”

“Okay daddy…our little secret.”

We both wiped tears of laughter from our faces, he turned the radio to a gospel station – “For safety purposes,” he said jokingly, and we were on our way home.

Once there, the laughing began again – me, Momma, and Daddy…we all agreed that I need not broadcast the story until much later once my ‘attention skills’ had improved.

That day, my dad told me that he had never laughed that hard before in his entire life and that I never had to worry about giving him a Father’s Day gift, because that day would last forever.

Now that I have written this post, I can’t help but imagine him, my mom and their best friends with them in Paradise…cracking their sides laughing right now.

I am glad that I chose happy memories today, and I hope that all readers can celebrate this day with love and much laughter.

Thanks for reading!

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Aside

May 2, 2013 Blog Dare Prompt – I Will Never Lose…

my faith in God. There have been so many instances and incidents where I could have easily given  up and said screw it all, but why would I do that?  If my mind and heart has been staid all of these years up until now, I figure that there is no reason for me to change unless something so drastic happens that I have no choice. I am here to tell you now that the beginning of my very life was so drastic once I learned about it as well as one other situation during my childhood that I am convinced and that there is not much left that can  change what I believe now…it just wouldn’t make much sense to say that what has occurred over my lifetime was merely a compiled set of incidents that can only be attributed to coincidence.

Let’s begin at my entrance into this world. I know that I was there, but the fact that I was being born at the time should make clear the point that I actually had no idea what was actually going on in a realistically conscious sense. However, spiritually I must say that I very well may have known what was happening at the time, because all things work together for the good – right?

Okay. Long story short, I was not even supposed to be born because as my mother (R.I.P. Momma!) stated years ago that despite being under somewhat heavy sedation due to pre-natal distress, she could hear the doctor saying what a shame it was to have to ‘let the baby go’ in order to save the mother who had four other children to raise and that it was the best decision that he could make given the situation. He had decided that it would make more sense to save the mother of this unborn child who just happened to far exceed the birth weight that mother was able to accommodate (as never having had a baby over five pounds due to some other issue) instead of saving the baby and leaving the father with four children to raise by himself while having to work to take care of them at the same time.

This was not a common deal back in November of 1970, so the doctor stated that the child would have to be aborted immediately as a result of being too large to even attempt the journey through my mother’s severely and insufficiently capacious birth canal. For some reason, there was no time for an emergency C-section which has become the savior of today’s distressed births. I am not sure if there were no epidurals back then or what – I just remember Momma saying that time had run out and there was no other choice but to inevitably abort.

Keeping in mind that I was a rather sneaky kid who did not always follow the golden rule of actually leaving the room when ‘grown folks’ were talking, I could overhear the discussion one night as Momma and whoever company was (probably her sisters who were all in agreement that this was one of the most frightening times of their own lives) reminisced over the situation some odd years later. I will never forget how badly I regretted being a master eavesdropper that night which in turn caused me to obey that golden rule from then on…mostly anyway.

She then began to describe what she was thinking (while under) about how her precious baby would die and how devastated she would be afterwards. The next statements really threw me for a loop as she spoke about how she heard a ‘voice’ telling her to push regardless of the fact that she had already heard her OBGYN say that she would die upon giving birth.  The story went on to describe how my mom felt herself tearing as I came out while the doctor and his crew frantically rushed to prepare themselves for this shocking change in plans while also readying themselves to inform my dad of the deaths that were definitely in store. She said that she knew that I was here when she realized that she had totally ‘come apart’ while the staff took care of a perfectly healthy baby just before performing  a very intricate re-constructive surgery in order to try to get her back to somewhat normal. As a result, the next baby that was born into our family, Mom ended up having a scheduled C-section five years later because a regular birth was completely out of the question.

Anyway, Momma went on to describe an incident where she mentioned ‘hemorrhaging’ which could not have been good due to the fact that she said that she collapsed and was rushed back to the hospital for however long – me at the age of a few days, she had to depend on sisters to take care of the baby and the other kids while Dad worked. Apparently someone stayed at the house with us while Mom was in the hospital – I don’t remember who, but I did have some siblings who were old enough to help out.

Somehow, Momma came back home, healed, and went back to her normal mothering, cooking, taking care of home, and being the best mother that anyone could ever ask for. She attributes us making it through that ordeal strictly to God because of that voice along with the rest of the miraculous events such as her very survival. She told everyone that I was her ‘miracle child’. Though I had no idea of how to live up to that name, I tried my best although I’m sure that I didn’t do so well along the way years after, but that is my first reason for my undying faith.

The next comes from a regular doctor’s visit to my pediatrician at around the age of seven. They found a problem with my heart. Irregular beat, murmur, and after several abnormal EKGs and ultrasounds, I would need open heart surgery to correct the problem. Now, the final decision was made around the age of eleven because I was still going to my original pediatrician for some years before the problem was officially diagnosed. I cannot remember the actual name of the problem, but it was there – found by the new doctor and the specialist that he referred us to. Something about a blocked valve is all that I can really remember.

I find it strange how I can remember some things just a little bit while others as if it were yesterday, but I do remember my mom on the phone with church members and relatives speaking about them all planning to pray at certain times of the day. One day in particular, she was on the phone while ironing everyone’s clothes for the week. We were in hers and Dad’s bedroom, when I suddenly stopped paying attention to what was on TV. I saw a  little lady (that is how I remember it) appear right in front of me, bathed in white and light. Mom was talking about how they were keeping up with their prayers and how she would NOT lose me after all that it took to bring me into this world when the little lady smiled at me. We did not speak, but I knew what she was saying as she and I- apparently (as I know now), communicating telepathically. My mom had no idea of what was going on with me while this was happening and I didn’t mention it until much later.

I can distinctly remember having no fear of dying which I knew would surely happen if I had the surgery. The little lady told me that there was nothing to fear and I told her that I didn’t want to die because it would hurt my whole family and they would be crying. First of all, I could never stand the thought of either of my parents crying, but after all – I was the ‘miracle child’.  All of this was happening with no one talking except my mom and whoever she was on the phone with. The lady bathed in white and light said that great was my faith and love, so all that I needed to do was to pray for my friend. I would live and not die (she shook her head – no), but I would have some sadness in my life although I would get through that also. Little sparks of light went from her and landed on me as I accepted what she said, somehow knowing the ‘friend’ that she implied. It is still funny now how I felt that day, seeing the peace, joy, and unconditional love that I would experience, but choosing to stay put because I pretty much had it already.  The little lady thanked me and disappeared. I felt a calm as my mom hung up the phone.

She had been talking to the Avon lady who had a daughter that had become quite close to me over time. She had been scheduled to go in for the exact same surgery  that I was, but my mom and our church were praying for her too!

I said my prayer for my friend. A couple of years later in our pre-teens Taska (my friend) had gone through the same surgery that I was supposed to have had, but didn’t after the doctors could NOT find the problem that they had seen before, (believe me, they looked for it) but miraculously, it was no longer there. I could now join the marching band with no worries, and the day that Taska and her mother came to visit, I was ecstatic! She showed me her zipper just before we discovered that she also had become a flute player in her high school’s band. (There was no middle school back then) – We watched our mothers cry in relief while praising that same God that had seen fit to bring me into this world, I guess for the very purpose of being living proof that faith in Him does pay off.

I have seen many other miracles happen to others in my life…things that you would probably say are a coincidence or maybe you would even say that it didn’t even happen, but I would not be writing this if it hadn’t. I don’t knock what anyone believes and I don’t accept being knocked either, so what  happened – happened, and I am proud to say that it did. Life was different then, and today as a real-life non-church going yet full-fledged believing Christian, (I have changed my views on some things over time and I do not attribute my outcome to ‘church’ but faith), I can honestly say that… with all of this being said and much more to come…

I will never lose my faith in God.

By the way, my birth weight was 8’11!

Thanks for reading!

Aside

Poem #24 – “Last Call!” Final Thoughts of a Young Homie

Man! If I hadda just listened to what you was tryin’ to tell me back in tha day

I woulda still been been there with you, but the life that I chose wouldn’t let me stay

I just had to be a gangsta…thuggin’…wantin’ to be bad

Not appreciatin’ how you worked so hard or what I coulda had

I remember how you  be used to be up at night in tha kitchen bakin’ me sweets

and all I would do was walk out the door so I could go run in them streets

Bangin’, stealin’, gankin, and some more

Didn’t even care back then what a momma was for

I used to argue you down ’bout how I didn’t wanna stay home

Usin’ the excuse that Pops had left us and would always be gone

All that dude did was punk out! Why he do us like that?

Leavin’ us to fend for ourselves…you gotta admit that shit was whack!

I’ll never forget that look on your  face. It was one of defeat

On the last day we had it out and I decided to retreat

I thought about how I had hurt you –  just like he did

Realizin’ my mistakes and how I oughta try and be a good kid

“I gotta stop worryin’ her.” That’s what I said to myself back there in my room

“I’ma cut this bangin’ out, but I gotta do it soon.”

That night you had to work the graveyard shift, and wouldn’t be back til the next day

You took a deep breath and hugged me tight, sayin’ that you would continue to pray

For once, I apologized for makin’ you worry and that I would try to do right

Little did you know that I was sneakin’ out so my boys could jump me out that night

One last blunt, one last roll, didn’t punk out neither Ma – I fought like a man!

After all they was my family when I felt I didn’t have one, so I knew they would understand

It was rough, but I was real proud of how I refused to go down… it hurt but man what a fight!

All tha homies gave me dap and said I did my thang, “Don’t worry Lil G, you aight!”

We shook on it and smoked out before I turned in my flag. This step would close the deal sho’nuff!

 O.G pulled his gat, “Naw homie – ya moms can keep that to dry her eyes after she lay yo ass up!”

Three shots rang out, as I fell to the street, under me pools of my blood started to pour

Hot slugs flew fast – hit me right in the head and neck, and one straight from my heart to yours

I was startin’ to fade out –  All I could think in the dark was, ” Man! Why didn’t I bring my gun?”

Then I saw a bright light and I heard a voice say, “The sins of the father fall on the sun!”

I was tryin’  my best to squash the whole thing, but somehow  I went about it wrong

If only I hadda listened and trusted you instead of them… ain’t no way I woulda ended up gone

I  can’t believe how I fell for all that – I was stupid to believe that bunch of lies

Now, I will never be able to wipe away your tears… nor can I stop your cries

But just because I went out like that don’t mean I’m alone –  I answered to that last call

 Sho am glad for that second chance at my very last breath – better late than not at all!

I just wanted you to know that just cause that line went flat, you don’t have to think that you’re all alone

Just keep doin’ what you told me you would that night, I’ll hear you cause now I got my ears on!

Aside

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