Poem #24 – “Last Call!” Final Thoughts of a Young Homie

Man! If I hadda just listened to what you was tryin’ to tell me back in tha day

I woulda still been been there with you, but the life that I chose wouldn’t let me stay

I just had to be a gangsta…thuggin’…wantin’ to be bad

Not appreciatin’ how you worked so hard or what I coulda had

I remember how you  be used to be up at night in tha kitchen bakin’ me sweets

and all I would do was walk out the door so I could go run in them streets

Bangin’, stealin’, gankin, and some more

Didn’t even care back then what a momma was for

I used to argue you down ’bout how I didn’t wanna stay home

Usin’ the excuse that Pops had left us and would always be gone

All that dude did was punk out! Why he do us like that?

Leavin’ us to fend for ourselves…you gotta admit that shit was whack!

I’ll never forget that look on your  face. It was one of defeat

On the last day we had it out and I decided to retreat

I thought about how I had hurt you –  just like he did

Realizin’ my mistakes and how I oughta try and be a good kid

“I gotta stop worryin’ her.” That’s what I said to myself back there in my room

“I’ma cut this bangin’ out, but I gotta do it soon.”

That night you had to work the graveyard shift, and wouldn’t be back til the next day

You took a deep breath and hugged me tight, sayin’ that you would continue to pray

For once, I apologized for makin’ you worry and that I would try to do right

Little did you know that I was sneakin’ out so my boys could jump me out that night

One last blunt, one last roll, didn’t punk out neither Ma – I fought like a man!

After all they was my family when I felt I didn’t have one, so I knew they would understand

It was rough, but I was real proud of how I refused to go down… it hurt but man what a fight!

All tha homies gave me dap and said I did my thang, “Don’t worry Lil G, you aight!”

We shook on it and smoked out before I turned in my flag. This step would close the deal sho’nuff!

 O.G pulled his gat, “Naw homie – ya moms can keep that to dry her eyes after she lay yo ass up!”

Three shots rang out, as I fell to the street, under me pools of my blood started to pour

Hot slugs flew fast – hit me right in the head and neck, and one straight from my heart to yours

I was startin’ to fade out –  All I could think in the dark was, ” Man! Why didn’t I bring my gun?”

Then I saw a bright light and I heard a voice say, “The sins of the father fall on the sun!”

I was tryin’  my best to squash the whole thing, but somehow  I went about it wrong

If only I hadda listened and trusted you instead of them… ain’t no way I woulda ended up gone

I  can’t believe how I fell for all that – I was stupid to believe that bunch of lies

Now, I will never be able to wipe away your tears… nor can I stop your cries

But just because I went out like that don’t mean I’m alone –  I answered to that last call

 Sho am glad for that second chance at my very last breath – better late than not at all!

I just wanted you to know that just cause that line went flat, you don’t have to think that you’re all alone

Just keep doin’ what you told me you would that night, I’ll hear you cause now I got my ears on!

Aside

“Another Way”

What did I ever do to you?

What made you choose ME?

Have you no sense of respect

or inkling of humanity?

I feel so all alone;

my self-esteem is now gone;

and all because of YOU,

my heart has turned to stone.

Does calling me a freak,

and making me feel so weak;

give you an ego boost;

when you walk alone down the street?

Is your life at home so bad,

and must I live my life so sad;

for you to make it through the day?

Watch it – you’re about to drive me mad!

I wasn’t raised to hurt my fellow man;

my parents taught me to do all that I can;

to live peacefully with others;

in this free and brave land;

but each day inside, I fight;

to live for what is true and what is right.

Does my mere existence;

threaten your personal plight?

Have you even looked or can you see;

that if I happen to turn this bullying key;

to a door of retaliation;

 would cause you to not even be?

I think not – but don’t get it twisted.

I already am, but you too can be assisted;

by the Highest Power ever known,

so that your name also can be listed;

in the Book of Life and not Death.

Apparently, I was chosen to aid you in not being left;

to spend an entire eternity;

of being tormented and bereft.

You will not compel me to take my life – nor yours.

That would only hurt even more;

of those who have the same being,

so let’s unlock that forgiveness door!

Now, with that being said,

neither of us has to end up dead.

Take the right route with me;

and be Highest Power led!

                                          …No gain can be attained by bullying, retaliation, or suicide                                                 because everyone loses that way. We can all be winners!   

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