I scribbled this down one night while seething in anger. I am looking at it now and it is difficult to read my own handwriting when in that state, but I finally made out the words…here goes.
Bad Blend
My world is my mind,
My life lives in three hearts
My cubbyhole is a box
In which I shall not depart
Although I peek outside
Every now and then
My senses become numb
And can’t say ‘stop’ or ‘when’
Don’t do that again!
After the fire, there are no ashes,
The ‘calm’ disintegrates
I don’t see what I see…
Sad truths are instantly erased
But appeasement
Follows and soothing words sweep up like a broom
The reality of what went wrong
Keeps me from darkest darkness; impending doom
Though not entranced by shiny objects – rings and things, they all glisten
From sticks to bricks – they all hurt
Except for when I don’t listen
Staying the course can be a many splendor thing
But if not careful, splinters pierce veins
This pain deeply stings
I forgive, but cannot forget
Forgetting is graciously God’s elected job
I am relieved to know that this truth is set
While I without fear violently rob
The thief that comes in
To steal, kill, and destroy
The circle of my love, washed in anxiety
Somehow I maintain naturally induced joy
The spigot of eternity awaits me through dogged faith
I shall remain bold
For fear of becoming lukewarm
As opposed to keeping myself hot and from turning cold
There is a river that flows continually from within
Please let it do what it does –
Undisturbed
To avoid creating new sin
This was a little weird for me…I’m still not sure what I was actually trying to express, but I do know that it came from deep inside a burning heart and a mind that was filled with anger and hope all in one mixed up package.
Thanks for reading.
Aug 21, 2013 @ 11:14:13
oh but you just bring tears of joy in my heart. its good to know that life is not always good neither is it always bad for all of us. poetry is something close to my heart and every time I read a good poem, it just touches my soul.
#MoreLove
Aug 21, 2013 @ 14:40:01
It is true – we all have our ups and downs and sometimes the downs seem to overtake the ups but we all deal with it in our own way. I am glad to have found writing as my way, thank you devynstella. ❤
Aug 21, 2013 @ 22:14:24
No need to explain or even try to figure out where it came from or what you were trying to express. It was there and needed to come out. I have been dealing with a bit of mixed emotions this month. Writing is the one way that straightens them out in a healthy way for me. Lucky for us we have words to express them!
Aug 21, 2013 @ 22:34:08
Agreed – thanks Kim! 🙂
Aug 24, 2013 @ 01:35:02
I can feel the anger and the desire to move forward – wishing you a weekend of calmness, dear Charlene xo
Aug 27, 2013 @ 04:37:18
I don’t think explanation is necessary either, Charlene, because everyone’s perception is different, too. Your poem is beautiful and I can feel your mixed emotions and also relate deeply to them. I love these lines, which to me, evoke hope…”Somehow I maintain naturally induced joy
The spigot of eternity awaits me through dogged faith”
Have a wonderful evening!
Aug 27, 2013 @ 16:59:24
Thank you Lauren!